~A COLLECTION OF LAWYER JOKES [3]~

			(10)

The National Instiutes of Health have announced that they will no longer
be using rats for medical experimentation.  In their place, they will 
use attorneys.  The have given three reasons for this decision:
1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats.  2.  The 
medical researchers don't become as emotionally attached to the 
attorneys that there are rats.  3.  No matter how hard you try,
there some things rats won't do.


			(11)

A makewoke up in a hosptial bed and called for his doctor.  He asked
"Give it to me straight.  How long have I got?"  The physician replied
that he doubted that his patient would survive the night.  The man
then said, "Call for my lawyer."  When the lawyer arrived, the man
asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while
the lawyer stood on the other.  The man then laid back and closed his
eyes.  When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked
what he had in mind.  The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either
side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."

			(12)

What do you get if you send the Godfather to law school?
An offer you can't understand.

			(13)

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country
club one day, and the conversation of their respective dogs, which
were apparently quite extraordinary.  A wager was placed on who had
the most intelligent dog.  The physician offered to show his dog first,
and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!"  Hippocrates ran in,
and was told by the doctor to do his stuff.  Hippocrates ran to the golf
course and dug for awhile, producing a number of bones.  He dragged the 
bones into the country club and assembled them into a complete, fully
articulated human skeleton.  The physician patted Hippocrates on the
head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts.  The architect was only
marginally impressed, and called for his dog.  "Sliderule, come!"
Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff.  The dog immediately
chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a
small scale model of the Taj Mahal.  The architect patted his dog
and gave him a cookie.  The attorney watched the other two dogs, and
called "Bullshit, come!" Bullshit entered and was told to his stuff.
Bullshit immediately sodomized the other two dogs, stole their cookies,
auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee,
and went outside to play golf.