The Oddest Virus: I received an email one day about the strangest virus soaring across the Internet. Looks pretty nasty if it hits a computer. Have you updated your virus software lately?? LATEST VIRUS THREAT: >>If you receive an email entitled "Fighting Canaries," delete it >>immediately. >>Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only >>erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on >>disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL >>of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the >>tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's >>you attempt to play. >> >>It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all Your ice >>cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone autodial to >>call only your mother-in-law's number. This virus will mix antifreeze into >>your fish tank. It will drink all your sodas. It will leave dirty socks >>on >>the coffee table when you are expecting company. >> >>Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be >>honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your >>shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current >>boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing the rendezvous to your Visa >>card. >> >>It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is >>only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease >>and >>Tinea. >> >>It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to >>passive >>tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the >>interpretations of key sentences. If the message is opened in a Windows95 >>environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer >>plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove >>the >>forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill >>your skim milk with whole milk. >> >>It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly >>rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. >> >>It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It >>is also a rather interesting shade of green. >> >>These are just a few signs of infection. "So all in all I asked myself, what is the *name* of this virus? It doesn't say! So, I can't check (and neither can you) in my anti-virus program and find the name of the virus. Becareful...none of us are safe!" -CJ [CLICK THE BUTTON ON YOUR BROWSER TO GO BACK TO ODDIES PAGE]